What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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