He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
