and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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