Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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