roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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