How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
