Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think a kid would responsible me up
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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