so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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