bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
