u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
