Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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