You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
