Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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