Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
PANTIES FOUND
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
