Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
