also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
