i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
