Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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