His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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