try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
