she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i used baking grease as lip gloss
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
