no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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