Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
