I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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