if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
