How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
