As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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