How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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