margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
