He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am available for nakedness
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
