He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
