just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
