i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
