You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
