i dont even know how to be here
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
