I wish i was in the wii world.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Still dying that you shit outside
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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