I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
