You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
