New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize