Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
