Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
