She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
