I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is Oprah even human
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
