Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
