i don't plan on having that self control this summer
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
