And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
