where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Bring me that man meat
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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