Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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