So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
