Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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