She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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