I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize