I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
