Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
