you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
