so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I supernannyed him into submission
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
