turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
