In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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