And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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