To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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