Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
