We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
