She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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