By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have post one night stand depression
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
