Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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